Redefining Friendship and True Curiosity (Mixed With A Lot of Laughter) with Dr. Todd Kashdan
In this most laugh-filled episode of all time, Traci sits down with Dr. Todd Kashdan, author of The Art of Insubordination and one of the world’s leading voices in well-being, curiosity, and psychological resilience. As a self-proclaimed fan of Todd’s work, Traci and Todd talk about his groundbreaking insights, including the profound narratives from his wellness lab, where meaning and purpose are untethered from wealth or social status. And Todd performed free therapy for Traci about her trauma raising curious kids in a not-so-curious small town.
Todd shares a sneak peek into his upcoming book on life purpose and meaning, challenges conventional ideas about anger management and relationships, and emphasizes the transformative power of curiosity and social connection. Whether it’s building resilience in the face of stigmatization or embracing diverse perspectives, this conversation is packed with practical wisdom and thought-provoking ideas to inspire impactful change in your life and relationships.
About Dr. Todd Kashdan
Dr. Todd B. Kashdan is a Professor of Psychology at George Mason University and a leading authority on well-being, curiosity, and resilience. With over 225 peer-reviewed articles and recognition as one of the top 1% most-cited scientists globally, Todd has received the American Psychological Association Award for Distinguished Scientific Early Career Contributions.
His bestselling books include Curious?, The Upside of Your Dark Side, and The Art of Insubordination. His work has been featured in The Atlantic, The New York Times, Harvard Business Review, and Time Magazine. Beyond academia, Todd is a sought-after keynote speaker and consultant, working with organizations like Microsoft, Mercedes-Benz, and the U.S. Department of Defense. A twin dad to twin 17-year-olds (plus one more!), Todd is on a mission to populate the world with great conversationalists.
Episode Timeline
00:00 Exciting Announcement: Sidewalk Talk Listening Bus Tour
00:34 Tour Schedule and Community Involvement
01:53 The Mission of Sidewalk Talk
03:02 Introducing Today's Guest: Dr. Todd Cashton
04:26 Diving into Purpose and Meaning with Dr. Todd Cashton
04:45 Exploring Curiosity and Connection
24:06 Debunking Pop Psychology Myths
30:49 The Four Stages of Handling Emotions
33:12 Exploring Relationship Science and Psychological Strengths
34:48 Navigating Social Interactions and Self-Perception
38:32 Motherhood and Social Anxiety
50:09 The Importance of Redemption and Second Chances
57:52 The Essence of Friendship
01:00:26 Podcast Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Resources Mentioned
Todd’s Substack (Substack)
Todd’s Personal Website (Website)
The Art of Insubordination (Book)
Curious? (Book)
The Upside of Your Dark Side (Book)
Standout Quotes
One of many messages that I'd love people to know is that being idiosyncratic and having strange, bizarre, passionate hobbies, that is the unique elixir that makes you so socially attractive to other people. (Todd)
Curiosity speeds up intimacy between two people. (Traci paraphrasing Todd)
So you move from competitiveness to companionship and that's really what you want to be doing when you're experiencing really great pain is you don't even have to talk to somebody. You really just have to be near somebody that is willing to have some semblance of care and desire for you to be around. (Todd)
If you went to the bathroom and had a glowing orange bowel movement, would you share that detail with your partner? And if you answer the same way, you're probably going to get along well. So now there's a second question that supercharges even more likely that the two of you will get together.
It's that you have your body, you have your ability to observe your body from a distance. You have your mind, you're able to observe your mind from a distance. And that allows you to actually have space so that trauma and negative life events don't have a big enough impact on you because you could see there's a part of you that comes out unharmed because you could look at what happened to you with your mind's eye. (Todd)
Connect
Find | Todd Kashdan
On LinkedIn: @ToddKashdan
Find | Sidewalk Talk
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
On Facebook: @Sidewalktalksf
On LinkedIn: @SidewalkTalkOrg
Find | Traci Ruble
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
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