Conversations as Art: Creating Beauty Through Non-Influence and Useless Time
Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin
What You Will Learn
In this reflective piece, you'll explore:
The power of conversation as an art form, free from the need to influence or persuade.
Why creating transcendent, non-influential spaces—whether on street corners or in personal relationships—can foster deeper connections.
The unique philosophy behind Sidewalk Talk and why its value lies not in building big programs but in embracing small, meaningful moments of human connection.
Insights on setting boundaries while staying true to your calling, and navigating the tension between societal expectations and personal purpose.
How to shift from "doing more" to finding beauty in “useless time” spent with loved ones, strangers, and yourself.
But first, some quotes from my analytic session out of context—because, frankly, it’s more fun to share them this way—and then the meaning my heart makes of them.
“Traci, you have this ability to find good conversationalists who are agnostic but feel some grief when someone’s ideology or need to influence takes over the conversation. At that point, the conversation no longer continues.”
“As long as you are a good listener, you may not need a safe space. A listener doesn’t need a safe space because they aren’t hearing conversations as dangerous.”
“Art is made in the non-influencing.”
“If I want to live and work in a non-self-abandoning way, I need to influence less and make art more.”
“People who contact me about Sidewalk Talk never understand that I don’t want to build big programs or events because I’m not trying to help 'the unwell' or influence. I see listening on sidewalks as momentary transcendence, where conversation becomes art because neither of us is trying to influence or coerce. We’re not trying to be smarter than the other, just creating a good conversation.”
“Good conversation is a piece of art.”
“The influencing machine is always turned on. It’s just the reality of our time, and often, our conversations are framed by it. But street art, of any kind, is antithetical to this. By giving art to the street, we accept that the influencing machine will always be on, but there’s a little corner of transcendence before it fully takes over.”
After a break, the Sidewalk Talk Kathmandu, Nepal Chapter is relaunching with Dr. Thagunna at the helm.
The Art of Conversation Without Influence
What I most want you to know is that we need transcendent art for its own sake. As El Chen said during our birthday interviews: We need more spaces where we spend useless time together.
I receive so many calls from folks puzzled by why I don’t “do more” with Sidewalk Talk or congratulate me for my “achievement” with the Paramount grant. There is still time to apply, by the way. If you want to start a Sidewalk Talk street listening chapter, apply here for the grant.
I might be writing this bit to ease my own angst and help you all understand the boundaries I set with those who seek big, influential programs or want my one-on-one time to launch their loneliness, social health, or connection projects. I want you to know I’m not trying to be a jerk—it’s just not what I’m called to do. I’m busy spending “useless time” with my husband, my sons, my friends, and strangers on sidewalks and dedicating myself to my psychotherapy practice. I really do live Sidewalk Talk values of heart-centered connecting without trying to influence or scale. Balance, joy, presence, play, learning, and heart-centered connecting are my priorities.
In many ways, I love that Paramount is giving money directly to chapter leaders. Yes, Paramount is about commerce, but it’s also in the business of art-making. I believe some part of their corporate spirit resonates with Sidewalk Talk’s ethos—transcendence through not trying to turn this project into a product, but giving it to the streets as an act of non-influence.
Similarly, ChangeX provides funding primarily to chapter leaders, who create these small moments of transcendence on street corners. It’s not me doing it—it’s you.
Photo by Markus Spiske
But here's the thing: people in business often don’t get my ethos. And every once in a while, my ego, or perhaps my internalized capitalism, tries to convince me to productize, fundraise, or systematize. For the record, I’m not anti-capitalist—I actually appreciate capitalism, despite its flaws. But I’m wary of unconscious capitalism, the kind that grows like cancer, harmful to its host. Still, I believe in the efficacy of treatment—both for cancer and capitalism.
Why This Matters
So why am I sharing all this with you? Because something is shifting inside me. I’m a lovable neurotic, and as my analyst says, the best thing about neurotics is that we prefer asking questions over having answers. We also take in new information and change our minds.
Traci Ruble listening in Louisville, Kentucky, in 2017, sponsored by the Islamic Society and Human Rights Institute. I now wear glasses so I don't have to squint like that.
Sure, there’s a downside—I’m often embarrassed by who I was five years ago. Hell, I’m embarrassed by who I was last year! But I say that with humor. My self-compassion practice is on point these days, and I have such a sense of humor about my “icky bits” that I don’t take it all too personally anymore. And I’ve learned to set boundaries like a pro. (Seriously, though—boundaries like a motha fucka. LOL.)
Connecting This to Political Conversations
This brings me to the connection between influence, art, and the We Can Do Better Than This workshop, where the focus is on having political conversations without the goal of influencing, but rather, truly connecting. This is where the magic of Sidewalk Talk aligns so perfectly. Full transparency - I am influencing you directly. I would like you to attend and I would like you to tell others to attend. Two reasons: 1) It will ripple beyond your political conversations 2) 100% of the proceeds raise money for Sidewalk Talk operations, and we are a wee bit short on operational cash at the moment.
I hope you might share this graphic on your socials.
Workshop Dates:
• Thursday, Oct 3, 2024 - Noon PT / 3pm ET - 90 min
• Sunday, Oct 6, 2024 - 10:00am PT /1pm ET - 90 min
Learn More Here:
“In a world where conversations are often framed by the relentless “influencing machine,” we desperately need spaces where the goal isn’t to convince or persuade but to connect.”
Sidewalk Talk, like the We Can Do Better Than This workshop, offers a form of art-making where influence is absent. It’s about creating a space where the conversation itself is a form of expression, free from the need to coerce, dominate, or convince.
When we approach conversations as art, we honor the transcendence of simply being with another person—without trying to change them. That’s where the true connection happens. That’s what Sidewalk Talk offers, and that’s what the We Can Do Better Than This workshop aims to foster. It’s not about safe spaces where we only hear what we want to hear; it’s about brave spaces where we listen with open hearts, without the need to be “right.”
Sidewalk Talk is political without being politicized. It’s an antidote to the constant pressure to influence or even coerce. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the most potent conversations are those where neither side tries to win. Instead, we’re creating something beautiful together—a conversation that stands as a piece of art.
I hope this resonates with you as much as it does with me. There’s a quiet revolution in simply being present, in listening, in creating art from conversation. And that’s what Sidewalk Talk is about and what I am all about.
